As promised I will be regaling you all of my dating doozies from Match.com - here it goes.
I will refer to this suitor as my “Cherry”. My first Match.com date went off with a bang with Mr. Cherry – pun intended. An afternoon meet up in the Mission ended in me rushing to catch the last BART train home to the East Bay at midnight. A Sunday beer enjoying a nice patio with bashful first date conversation and questions concluded in late night cocktails and spicy Brazilian dancing. An exciting success that reminded me of how it felt once upon a time when I was young and just talking with boys made me get the butterflies.
This Cherry was of the nice, gentlemanly Midwest breed with a splash of spunk, a whole lot of mystery and topped it off with a great taste in music. I’ve learned that if I connect with someone on a music beat, it enhances the – for lack of a better word – chemistry. Our adventures were a sweet combination of “gchat” messages that relentlessly kept me blushing and an easy drinking partner. Getting emails of zipped music files from him were in essence the new age flower delivery service. Instead of a bouquet, I would get the new aromas of Arcade Fire and the Black Keys, which to me is better than roses.
And…this sweetness believe it or not carried on for about 3 months…not “long”, I know, but not bad for my first shot on this site.
In the end, after a burlesque show and one dramatic greyhound infused phone call (don’t ask), my Cherry Boy, wasn’t ready for me and instead his heart was with someone else. A bit of an ego bruiser, but nonetheless a good guy with some more than great skills and of course … a great taste in music.
Positive Play - My Positive Play is going to be where I showcase my take away and my learning from this experience/individual. No how big/small or short/long the situation is, the Positive Play section is where I will, find the silver lining.
I learned a few things from My Cherry. A new love of a few bands that I hadn’t heard of before, how to use my DropBox, Bernal Heights is beautiful, I actually do like eggs Benedict … and a few more serious notes.
To not fall victim to the trap of “playing it cool”.
There were a few instances where I sensed something was not quite right with the boy. Instead of just confronting the issue, I held back and tried to “play it cool,” not come off like the needy girl or look vulnerable or god forbid, actually come off like I Liked Him.
I learned from this to be honest with him … and more importantly be honest with myself. I did like him, I really liked the idea of him, but I knew he was somewhere else. Which is/was fine/acceptable/okay.
But the fact that I/we both tried to play it cool, prolonged the inevitable. Hence I have learned (still learning this is a hard one) that aside from the awesome music, silly chemical banter and lovely snuggles and hand holding – I have to be honest with myself and look at this person and see if they really want me. Wow I just said that. Thanks boy.
Another one bites the dust. Stay tuned next time, there are more boys where this came from.