A man's take on the the Wonderful World of Women
"Be YO - Self"
"Be YO - Self"
He should of just been himself. I have been myself. I tried being someone else to get someone to
like me, but that never works out. Being yourself is the best advice I have ever received and given when it comes to finding someone to spend time with. Let's be honest, the first couple of dates are an interview. If there is a click you go from there. If it falls flat, well you say nice to meet you however I am not for you. What you don't do is say, “This person is my ideal. Good looking, good job, secure, we should be together. I need to find out what they want and be that.” No you shouldn't. Stop it.
Here is what happens when you do that. You start dating and then to become their ideal you over compromise. They like hanging out with their friends and don't like or in most cases know yours. So their friends start becoming your friends. See where this going? No? Their friends are now your friends, which means your friends whom you met organically, like you are suppose to, are fading into the distance. This also means you get paired up with one their friends significant other. Now you are being forced to be friend with someone you have only one thing in common. You like to compromise your ideals for the idea of being with your ideal. My brain just melted a bit.
If you find yourself having this problem just say this, ”Hey I am going to go see my friend tonight,
you have fun with yours.” That statement alone should give you the confidence to do it. If that person runs off in the night over you wanting to spend time with your friend, you did yourself a favor. You are better off my friend. Are we friends? Yes. Facebook me bitch.
Well of course they like hanging out with their friends, they are THEIR FRIENDS! Duh! You like
hanging out with yours. So go do that. I guess some of this is chalked up to self esteem. If you have confidence in yourself, you will have confidence that this person will like you for you. Which also means they will like your friends or at least tolerate them and allow you to spend time with them. If you compromise about your friends it only tends to go downhill from there.
(read at regular pace)
For the record some of my friends girlfriends/wives can't stand me, but yet they still let me come
around. They let them be themselves by making poor decision in friends(me). I am actually a good friend, just don't get me drunk surrounded by women. One word: Kissing bandit.
While I am here I would also like to publicly apologize to my friend Richard's wife Sandra, for the
years 2002-2005. Thank you.
I know it is easy to say be yourself, but in reality it is hard to pull off. If you know me, you know I have few serious moments in my life. However if we go out, I will be serious and quiet on date #1. If I do catch myself doing this, I try and snap out of it. It is a tricky maneuver and I do not want to scare them off. A good dick joke usually breaks the ice enough for me to unveil myself. Once your true self is out, you are golden.
You better have a sense of humor about yourself as well. If you take yourself too seriously, you will only be disappointed when you don't live up to your expectations. I have a good sense of humor. It is who I am, but I wish I learned to play guitar. I didn't though, I am lazy. I am. Sense of humor is important. People with no sense of humor, especially about themselves, tend to be uptight. There is nothing worse than dating someone who is uptight. Yes, uptight does mean they do not put out. It also means no emotion, no love, no affection and just forget about sex at the drive-in.
Basically what it boils down to is, there are people we like and people we don't. What you hope for is you run into one these people you like and they just happen to be one of the people who like people like you. That was confusing. Let me try that again.
Once I was down and out about a lady and my friend's girlfriend said, “There is a flower for every pot.”and I said “Thanks for the cliché.”
Well I was drunk and she was right. There is someone for everyone. Sometimes you find them when you are young, sometimes when you are old. You won't find them though if you make yourself unavailable by compromising who you are and what you want out of a relationship.
Be yourself, it is just that easy.
It is the best thing for you can do for all of us.
And call your mother, she misses you.