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Positive Polly Posts

Monday, April 18, 2011

It Is What It Is...

Posting Breather - yes I have missed a week or two ... SORRY. But I can explain, I swear, some happenings and thoughts of my current dating life, enjoy:

1. The Curse - I feel like I have a strange curse. The really, really, “great first date” curse. I know I know - strange right? Well, for those of you that know me, you would probably concur that I am social and very conversational and am also not crazy or a total bitch. I always try/offer to pay my ½ of the bill and I ALWAYS shower before ;). I have been very lucky with most of the men that I have gone on dates with. They are at some rate at the same conversational pace as me – almost ;)

Basically overall providing for an entertaining, engaging, flirtatious and successful first dates. I feel that I can easily get swayed by this first date fog, because sooner than later you’ll realize … O we aren’t that compatible. So now I contemplate - are feeling after the first date just to be ignored, and if I have a good enough time I schedule dates 2 and 3 and then start the emotional/chemical judgements? And this leads me to reason #2 for my breather.

2. It Is What It Is - This phrase “It is what it is” – reminds me of one silly afternoon in my favorite house in Sacramento with Gina. We were “playing” and somehow she made the most ridiculous use of this phrase with hand motions-o-plenty – that it still cracks me up. Annnyways, that has nothing to do with any of this. But I bring this phrase up after my other bestie made a comment after my first posting of my dating series “Mr. Cherry”. She loves me and I do her, what she said struck me, this is her comment:

“I think we can do better with the "Positive" posts honey. How is reading about dating bombs uplifting? Maybe change the name of your blog? I don't feel a "dose of positive reinforcement" when I read about the douchebags mama, it's kinda sad.”

At first I thought what she said was brutal…it wasn’t. It was her being honest and encouraging me – which I am so grateful for in a friend. This comment made me want to take a breather and explain my purpose for basically revealing all and potentially humiliating myself (;)).

This is Dating. It Is What It Is.

Instead of being who I have been before, and bashing any man that didn’t work out, which is ultimately the definition of Negative, I would try and analyze and find the “Silver Lining” to these experiences. B/c lets be real here … This is Dating. It Is What It Is. Most out of 10, are not going to work out … and I think that ratio might be a lil forgiving as well. But instead of thinking about it in terms of – how depressing it is to think, “most men I date will not amount to anything”. YIKES! That sounds awful!


I hope that my stories are encouraging and that there is some compassion shared here between hopeful women and men that read this and who feel that they are eternally looking for that special someone.

3. The Current Sitch - The other reason for the breather … I’m a busy girl b/c I updated some photos to my match profile … HA/jokes! Stay tuned for more dating do-zies and don’t-sies. Here are a few of them by name…

The Brit, Handle Bars, Jake Ryan, “The guy I just want to drink Whiskey with”, and The Neighboy

Thanks for reading … love to have comments so leave your thoughts, advice etc.!


  1. I haven't dipped my toes in the internet dating "pool" yet but am thinking I may. I love reading your blog, it gives me hope in this thing called "dating". It's even more difficult when you're over 40. Trust me! My chances are slim to none I think at this point. Being 48 and never being married? People think thats weird. I think that's weird, ha ha. How do you answer THAT question when it comes up? The dreaded, What?? You've NEVER been married or NO KIDS??!!!!! Awkwaaaaard, to say the least. And I have no answer. There is no answer. It taint easy my dear.....

  2. But seriously, most guys are doo-doo dummies. You are bright and beautiful and smart. It may be hard to find one that reflects your own awesomeness, but once you do, it will be worth all the bad ones. Your friend is right: it isn't super uplifting to read about dates-gone-bad, but it is refreshing to see a girl who doesn't take it all so personally and still has a great outlook on life and love despite the wackiness she encounters.