Calling all Boy Bloggers

Calling all Boy Bloggers

For over a year now, ya'll have been listening to me, my viewpoints, my stories, my experiences and hopefully my positive - ity.  I'm trying out a new thing for the next two blogs.  I'd like to invite men, man-friends, boys, males to the conversation.  That's right, a male blog ghost writer, a special guest, a chance for the men to have their take.  I don't need to know you personally.  Or we can also be friends ... or dislike each other.  Either way leave a comment with your information or EMAIL ME with your interest.

Topics can include (however I am open to anything ... get creative.

1.  A man's stories of dating 

2.  A man's experience on Match.com

3.  A man's viewpoint on women and what he wants 

4.  Or really anything revolving around the wonderful world of dating and the doozies it throws you.

My only rules are:

1. You cannot refer to any of your dates or ladies of the night by their real name.

2.  No lady bashing

3.  Have a takeaway ... Positive Play from your experience. 

I'm starting with 2 blogs. LMK ASAP. Leave a comment with your info OR email me by CLICKING HERE.

Honest Abe Part Duex

Welcome back to the tale of Honest Abe.  

STOP - if you have not read Part 1, please scroll down or find it listed to the right of this post. 

As we continue this story I'll give you a refresher - Honest Abe/Mr. Red Shiny BMW took me on a musical adventure for our 1st date - a Ben Harper concert paired w/ delicious tacos and greyhounds at Cafe Von Kleef.  This equates to - magical - top of my list things to-do on a 1st date.  In fact it was a 1st for a 1st date.  I left off with he and I as the perfect team, rocking out to amazing tunes, cheers-ing each other as each song was delivered, making friends w/ fans around us, chit chatting the bartender and enjoying the way he played with the long tips of my hair as sweet ballads filled the auditorium.  It was nice.  I didn't know this guy, yet I was okay in his company.  I didn't feel the normal first date pressure to talk and talk.  It wasn't odd like going to a movie on a first date, it felt comfortable. Best Date EVER right?

There is a reason why I'm referring to him as "Honest Abe" and I will get to that, I promise.  But I will be honest first, even though I have described what seems to be a perfect man, well that wasn't 100% true.
If you know "my type" I generally like them slightly rough around the edges some would say rugged or mountain men.  Honestly, Abe didn't quite meet those standards.  He was a little more "Pretty" and high maintenance than what I normally go for, BUT I'm trying to reach out of my comfort zone. However, he did break some serious concert etiquette.  His phone was out for most of the show, texting and checking Facebook, got up often for beers and kept interrupting others in the aisle. BUT I let it slide, no biggie.

Somewhere between the end of the concert and our BART ride home to Oakland, something went very, very wrong.  So wrong - its probably "right" that it happened.  I knew that we had some cocktails, but I was not past my first date maximum. Anyways I will get to it.  It seemed like a time warp or as if I had suddenly awakened from a blissful dream and found myself in a disastrous reality.  I woke up to a man that was very upset with me. Readers, meet Honest Abe.

He began to list out a series of moments/things/nuances that I had done throughout the night that apparently ruined this date that he had planned.  Unbeknownst to me I had been "directing" him too much and I was making it impossible for us to enjoy our night. Apparently I was,

- Giving alternate driving directions

- Asking where we were going

- Giving BART exit suggestions

- Correcting his directions

- Telling him not worry about where our seats were b/c they were in the upper balcony

- Teasing him about checking facebook during the show
- I wouldn't hold his hand, just a rule of mine I don't hold hands on the first date.
After he unleashed his wrath on me, I being a positive polly tried to to redeem the evening and take what he said into consideration and clean up the vibe by just calling it a misunderstanding. Once we landed back in my hood we went for a night cap.  Perhaps this was bad idea because after that he threw out some real jems.
"I really like you and think we have something great, but if you keep putting these walls up you're never going to find anyone."
and I quote:
"I don't get along with my mother and you remind me of her."


Okay. Somebody was being real honest. 
I had three reactions.  
1. FML
2. Does he have a point?
3. See Ya! Peace Out! You're dumb.


Let's explore these.
1. FML: Was this seriously happening? Seriously? Really? I mean really? No one has ever laid it out like that to me.  AND furthermore, really?! What happened to the great night? FML.
2. Does he have a point?: I think my friends would describe me as someone with a strong and sassy personality, I'm a "yellow/orange" type of person and not a "blue/grey". My job kinda brings out a little control freak in me, maybe not the best trait. Is that a turn off?  Is being direct and strong not attractive?  It is rude? Do I really have a lot of walls up? How guarded am I? Am I pre-destined for spinsterhood?
3. See Ya! Peace Out! You're dumb:  My favorite of all 3 reactions.  I will take what he said and maybe reconsider before I give too many directions on a date and trust the guy a little more.  But something that I do know is that, I can't change myself for a man.  Just like I can't change a man.  My call-it-like-I-see-it, wit, cautiousness, and maternal tendencies are the things I like/love the most about myself.  So why would I go about changing them for some dork in a fancy car with tight-overpriced jeans? I mean really?!


So thank you, Abe for being honest, for the tacos, an amazing concert and for trashing any self doubt that I may have ever had in myself.  O! And for confirming that a deal breaker for me is if a guy checks Facebook and stares his phone during a concert.  It IS rude.


Love to hear your thought. Friends (girls AND GUYS) speak up, be honest ;). Man-friends (men that I have "dated" in the past) you know best about me in these scenarios - leave your thoughts, suggestions etc.


Peace,
Polly

Honest Abe

Honest Abe

Unlike many of my recent dating encounters, this one came along rather as they say so often in Berkeley, “Organically”. Berkeley being the setting of our chance encounter. After chatting briefly at a work-associated cocktail hour I was approached by this friendly 30 something as he placed an extra Speakeasy Prohibition Ale down on the table next me. No words, then he took a seat a few spots away. Tease. I’m in.

Was this handsome feller flirting? No profile pic to review first, no “about me” section to filter thru, no photos of him posing with his dog or on a hike at the peak. Instead, I knew right away with this sly beer drop gesture that he was right down my alley.

Organically the night moved into more libations with colleagues where emails and phones numbers were exchanged professionally with heavy date innuendo. The following few days were filled with silly phone calls and text messages as we set up our master date.

Honest Abe arrived 5 – 10 min late. Lucky for him parking is hard to come by on a sunny day on my street, so I let him slide.

I think because this was one of the few dates in the past year that was asked out on in “Real life” and not on match.com, I was particularly nervous. I must have changed outfits 3 or 4 times and even sought out male-roommate-cute-outfit advice. After settling on snug tan shorts, a tribal halter top, brown wedges and denim jacket I applied my reddest llip gloss, a few splashes of Betsy Johnson and I felt like the best datable form of myself.

Honest Abe is also Mr. Red shiny BMW, perhaps to match my lip gloss. Little did I know that aside from our kismet matching lip and lacquer colour, Honest Abe would then take me on the best AND worst first date ever.

I was greeted by a reassuring “O good I’m still attracted to you hug”. Nice. As we approached the shiny speedster, he tossed out a few suggestions for dinner, sushi, Indian, Chinese …. Or the Ben Harper concert in San Francisco. Utter shock took over my body. I’ll give you one guess as to what I chose. Be still my heart. First date – music – a GREAT band - cute/nice boy… o AND we went to a cute Mexican place that I have been dying to try with TEAL painted walls?! Delicious chili verde tacos were followed by greyhounds at a local favorite bar and then a quick trip on BART to the Warfield. I sweet talked the scalper, he bought the tics, and I bought the first round of drinks and we found our seats just as the honorable Mr. Harper took the stage. We were like an unstoppable team. He was energetic, gentlemanly, excitable, not boring, fun, silly … What could go wrong? You'll have to stay tuned for next time...this is long one...

To Be Continued.