Whiskey or Gin or Neither?

Taking life by the Handle Bars I felt inspired a few months ago. So inspired the next date I went on was with a young chap from across the pond. Gareth. Yes, Gareth. Yes, it gets better.

Gareth is from England and lives in Sacramento but works in SF most work/weekdays. I thought … what an interesting situation that would be? I love Sac and SF. Enjoy a nice boy when I go to visit the Sac family? Why not? Right?

So Gareth and I did the standard Match Messaging Shuffle then traded numbers and picked a night to meet.

I was surprised when he actually called and didn't send a text message. (Thats a big one boys).

We planned on meeting up at some random restaurant near the Financial District.

Things went great, easy convo, some banter and an affinity for the brown gold. Whiskey, Scotch, Bourbon … whatev. But we both liked it.

This led to a 2nd bar and my first Double Malt Scotch tasting.

This then led to the turn off …

He shook hands with the bartender for giving us a free round and introduced himself as "Gaz". Apparently "Gaz" is the short for Gareth to the Brits. (?) I looked puzzled when he told me and then in efforts to convince me he pulled down his lower lip to reveal a tattoo of said nickname. Yes, he had his strange nickname tattooed on the inside of his mouth.

You all know that I find nothing wrong with tattoos and support them fully. But, seriously? Seriously? I mean really? Really?

Anyways … we wrapped the night well and had a great time with Gaz … however I think the state of utter shock resinated with the both of us and we did not met up again.

A few weeks later I went met up with a nice, cornfed, boy from the midwest by way of San Diego at the Gold Dust in Union Square. (The Gold Dust has seen Jen n Friends at some of our finest moments. So I was thrilled that he choose this as our starting spot.)

Patrick drank Gin because his grandmother always did. That was a first.

As restaurant opener in the bay area he knew of a lot of places to grab a bite so we headed to Anchor and Hope. Amazing Seafood. And that was it…thats all. No more. No less. Amazing Seafood and a few Gins for him and Whiskey for me. Great guy but didn't quite "fit". Cheers and Good luck to you!

Positive Play

The positive play on these scenarios is … well … it didn't hurt. Instead I met some nice people I wouldn't have met otherwise, had a good time, learned a few things … most importantly that I will aways enjoy Whiskey with Jen…not Gin.

Life by the Handle Bars

Typing to tunes: Cause = Time by Broken Social Scene, Intro by The Xx, Rest My Chemistry by Interpol

Hi there dearest friends, readers, strangers…this blog moment finds me typing to tunes after a VERY long weekend in Denver. I’m pretty much a zombie after the past few days of work, sleep anxiety, funx and sunshine.

This long weekend backs up to a very busy Thursday Cinco de Mayo with last minute packing and event prep for our race in Denver. After packing up the last of my clipboards, double sided tape and sharpies I had an impromtu guest and celebrated the Cinco with a few Pacificos, and Lake lights. What seemed like just a few hours later … (o wait b/c it was) I caught my flight at 6:15 AM…special shout out to my Dog Nick for waking up at the butt crack to drop me off.

From the moment I landed it was work work work till the race wrapped at round 4:00pm on Saturday … and from there … it was … well … que loco. Beer, whiskey, fire fighers, whiskey, red bull, ninja turtles, jager, Spike, Tuaca, beer, dancing, a house party, lost sunglasses, sandles and my mind. I will leave you with that sentence to describe my weekend and let you fill in the blanks. My own personal version of mad libs.

For now, onto perhaps more interesting topics – Where was I with my Match.com escapades…o Yes, I teased you with a few names. Today I’ll introduce you to “Handle Bars”.

O boy. Mr. Handle Bars is an engineer from Berkeley and like a few others I have chatted with, he’s from the Mid West. We met for drinks at a bar in Oakland and preceded to have great conversation … all the typical first date stuff…family, friends, work, religion, music, sports, life…but…he had a Mustache. Not just any Mustache but the most ridiculous mustache that it was a cross between a handle bar mustache and the mustache that curls up. Some of you have heard my rants about mustaches…I think they are awful. I also think they are hilarious, a great party theme. There are some men that can pull it off honestly. But this whole “trend” of growing out your facial hair when in result you only look creepy and probably ½ as attractive as you really are … I don’t get it.

I couldn’t take him serious at all and the “chemistry” just wasn’t there. I can’t help but wonder if it was because of the stache?

Positive Play Well … a few things I learned from this first and only date with Handle Bars…

1. I don’t like mustaches (note: I fully support beards and goats)

2. “You can take the girl from the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl”. As I have continued to put myself “out there” and date I have started to really listen to myself talk and I can see how much of a “small town girl” I am. Or rather the values I hold are in a way telling of my roots and where I come from. The Country.

Handle Bars and I had a lot of viewpoints in common on anything from music to communicating, to our relationships with our parents to money and religion. He mentioned a few times how familiar I sounded, like I was from his small town in Ohio. So I guess, the Positive Play with this guy, is that it didn’t hurt. Instead it was helpful in painting a picture of who I am perceived to be….and the best part is, that I like that person.

Cheers,

Polly

It Is What It Is...

Posting Breather - yes I have missed a week or two ... SORRY. But I can explain, I swear, some happenings and thoughts of my current dating life, enjoy:

1. The Curse - I feel like I have a strange curse. The really, really, “great first date” curse. I know I know - strange right? Well, for those of you that know me, you would probably concur that I am social and very conversational and am also not crazy or a total bitch. I always try/offer to pay my ½ of the bill and I ALWAYS shower before ;). I have been very lucky with most of the men that I have gone on dates with. They are at some rate at the same conversational pace as me – almost ;)

Basically overall providing for an entertaining, engaging, flirtatious and successful first dates. I feel that I can easily get swayed by this first date fog, because sooner than later you’ll realize … O we aren’t that compatible. So now I contemplate - are feeling after the first date just to be ignored, and if I have a good enough time I schedule dates 2 and 3 and then start the emotional/chemical judgements? And this leads me to reason #2 for my breather.

2. It Is What It Is - This phrase “It is what it is” – reminds me of one silly afternoon in my favorite house in Sacramento with Gina. We were “playing” and somehow she made the most ridiculous use of this phrase with hand motions-o-plenty – that it still cracks me up. Annnyways, that has nothing to do with any of this. But I bring this phrase up after my other bestie made a comment after my first posting of my dating series “Mr. Cherry”. She loves me and I do her, what she said struck me, this is her comment:

“I think we can do better with the "Positive" posts honey. How is reading about dating bombs uplifting? Maybe change the name of your blog? I don't feel a "dose of positive reinforcement" when I read about the douchebags mama, it's kinda sad.”

At first I thought what she said was brutal…it wasn’t. It was her being honest and encouraging me – which I am so grateful for in a friend. This comment made me want to take a breather and explain my purpose for basically revealing all and potentially humiliating myself (;)).

This is Dating. It Is What It Is.

Instead of being who I have been before, and bashing any man that didn’t work out, which is ultimately the definition of Negative, I would try and analyze and find the “Silver Lining” to these experiences. B/c lets be real here … This is Dating. It Is What It Is. Most out of 10, are not going to work out … and I think that ratio might be a lil forgiving as well. But instead of thinking about it in terms of – how depressing it is to think, “most men I date will not amount to anything”. YIKES! That sounds awful!

INSTEAD...

I hope that my stories are encouraging and that there is some compassion shared here between hopeful women and men that read this and who feel that they are eternally looking for that special someone.

3. The Current Sitch - The other reason for the breather … I’m a busy girl b/c I updated some photos to my match profile … HA/jokes! Stay tuned for more dating do-zies and don’t-sies. Here are a few of them by name…

The Brit, Handle Bars, Jake Ryan, “The guy I just want to drink Whiskey with”, and The Neighboy

Thanks for reading … love to have comments so leave your thoughts, advice etc.!

The Manager

The Manager

OOoooo the Manager. My Manager, was what kept me busy during and after the Cherry. The Manager was also someone that I have met in person before however we didn’t know that until we reacquainted ourselves through a Match Chat. The Manager, was as you can imagine a Manager of a restaurant in the city that I held an event at. I remember meeting him the first time at my event and desperately trying to flirt with him and his teal colored tie … you know my weakness for this color.

Flash forward to meeting him for a 2^nd time, this time virtually. The Manager was eager to set something up. We went for 1^st date sushi, 2^nd date game night, and then 3^rd date drinks … and then we moved to our phones. No, not speaking on the phone, but texting … a lot of it. The Manager had me texting with him about the most random stuff ever, yet we hadn’t made it past 4 official dates. Via text I learned (& saw through text photos) what he would have for dinner, him on vacation in Miami, what type of underwear he wears, how many beers he had, how hung over he was, his snuggie, how late he had to work… and on and on…yet he didn’t pull the trigger to hang out. He was that busy, … strike #1.

Moving on to strike #2, the conversation chemistry just wasn’t there. Me being someone that could talk my own ear off, I need someone who can match me or at least keep the convo going. I would ask a question and he go on and on but not return the question – conversation etiquette 101 buddy. Strike #3, was on our 5^th or 6^th date (yea we eventually met up a few more times after a long period of lagging). At dinner, he dropped sooo many F bombs and centered the conversation around getting fucked up and getting high. Sure I can/have/and do those things from time to time. But, I do not make them the forefront of my personality nor do I shout about it over dinner. Like I said Strike #3. He was out.

Positive Play

I'm going to take it back to Strike #1 - really where I should have stopped and known. Concerned about why he isn’t asking me out AKA pulling the trigger … lets assess the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule of dating (thank you girlfriends for reminding me of this one): If he wants to hang out with you, he will make it happen. Period.

The Manager didn't so much live up to the Golden Rule. AND the silver lining here is, that is okay. Because when I think about it, I wasn't crushing on him. Meaning everytime my phone pinged, my whole body didn't jerk and snag my phone looking in hopes of a text message from him. Lets be honest we have all had those "ones". Where everytime the screen lights up we hope its "him". If anything I was ready for him to just get off the pot and stop texting me.

In the end, I think we were both doing the same thing for each other. We weren’t head over heels for one another, but both decent enough people to keep around in the texting rotation that fills up our days. I hate to say it, but we have either done that or know someone who has ... basically kept someone on text rotation. In the hopper, on deck, warming up ... basically that source of attention that we have some need to tap every once in awhile. The thing that I realized was ... Meh, O well. He was a great player, but just minor league...not The Show...

You're welcome for all of the baseball references, opening day is right around the corner. Go Giants. And if you go to Giants games this year, you might find The Manager at a popular restaurant by the park ... he'll be the one that is very busy with the teal tie. ;)

Cheers,

Polly

Mr. Cherry

As promised I will be regaling you all of my dating doozies from Match.com - here it goes.

The Cherry

I will refer to this suitor as my “Cherry”. My first Match.com date went off with a bang with Mr. Cherry – pun intended. An afternoon meet up in the Mission ended in me rushing to catch the last BART train home to the East Bay at midnight. A Sunday beer enjoying a nice patio with bashful first date conversation and questions concluded in late night cocktails and spicy Brazilian dancing. An exciting success that reminded me of how it felt once upon a time when I was young and just talking with boys made me get the butterflies.

This Cherry was of the nice, gentlemanly Midwest breed with a splash of spunk, a whole lot of mystery and topped it off with a great taste in music. I’ve learned that if I connect with someone on a music beat, it enhances the – for lack of a better word – chemistry. Our adventures were a sweet combination of “gchat” messages that relentlessly kept me blushing and an easy drinking partner. Getting emails of zipped music files from him were in essence the new age flower delivery service. Instead of a bouquet, I would get the new aromas of Arcade Fire and the Black Keys, which to me is better than roses.

And…this sweetness believe it or not carried on for about 3 months…not “long”, I know, but not bad for my first shot on this site.

In the end, after a burlesque show and one dramatic greyhound infused phone call (don’t ask), my Cherry Boy, wasn’t ready for me and instead his heart was with someone else. A bit of an ego bruiser, but nonetheless a good guy with some more than great skills and of course … a great taste in music.

Positive Play - My Positive Play is going to be where I showcase my take away and my learning from this experience/individual. No how big/small or short/long the situation is, the Positive Play section is where I will, find the silver lining.

I learned a few things from My Cherry. A new love of a few bands that I hadn’t heard of before, how to use my DropBox, Bernal Heights is beautiful, I actually do like eggs Benedict … and a few more serious notes.

To not fall victim to the trap of “playing it cool”.

There were a few instances where I sensed something was not quite right with the boy. Instead of just confronting the issue, I held back and tried to “play it cool,” not come off like the needy girl or look vulnerable or god forbid, actually come off like I Liked Him.

I learned from this to be honest with him … and more importantly be honest with myself. I did like him, I really liked the idea of him, but I knew he was somewhere else. Which is/was fine/acceptable/okay.

But the fact that I/we both tried to play it cool, prolonged the inevitable. Hence I have learned (still learning this is a hard one) that aside from the awesome music, silly chemical banter and lovely snuggles and hand holding – I have to be honest with myself and look at this person and see if they really want me. Wow I just said that. Thanks boy.

Another one bites the dust. Stay tuned next time, there are more boys where this came from.

You Go Boy...

As a preview to my dating doozies I have put together some of the latest (not even the best) messages that I have received on Match. I am not doing this to be an asshole, I'm doing this for 2 reasons:

1. A simple insight to all of you out there

2. Most Importantly, "You Go Boys" ... some of this stuff takes some serious huevos to say. So even though some of these messages weirded and creeped me out, I will still tip my hat to their "ambitious nature".

Past Messages (Note, they refer to me as my Match username, "PrettyAwesomeOne"... try and keep up. I have also listed their usernames as well. Enjoy:

Vrungel - 37 from Walnut Creek

Subject Line: People who are happy with who they are frighten...

People who are happy with who they are frighten me! ... And the huge sunglasses do not look good on you! ... You seem to be a cool person but for some reason I want to get into a verbal fight with you...

California_Moe 27 from Oakland

(No Subject)

hi pretty awesome, so how was ur day ?? hope it was good and u joined this nice weather today :)
I read your profile and took a look at your pics am really interested to know u more ,plus i really like short women, easy to carry her ! and when she start yelling on me in the street am just gonna put her on my shoulder and walk, its easy ;) , we really can do alot of things together , we can cook together , i really love to cook , and why not to go and explore some new areas or some new restaurants together ? or discover the sky by skydiving ;)
would like to meet u if there is any chance .
look forward to hear from u seriously am really interested

hotnhandsm 34 from Santa Clara

Subject Line: That million watt smile will light up an entire...

That million watt smile will light up an entire...

Are you a shy person around a hot and handsome guy like me?

- Harnish

ajmateo7 - 34 from San Mateo

(No Subject)

Im sitting here thinking how to describe myself to you..but how many ways can I use the word awesome in a sentence?? Jesus! Ha.

_______

Thoughts? Comments? Opinions?

I think we can all agree that California_Moe 27 from Oakland might have been the most "unique".

FML,

;) Polly

Back by Popular Demand …

Apparently my blog post entitled “Boys and Girls,” was a popular one and I’ve had requests to continue in that fashion. Sure, why not. So once again, I get to decompress my dating doozies in a public forum … and hopefully I don’t sound crazy … b/c I’m not … well a lil crazy never hurt no body ;).

A true blog master and a “Call it like I see it” – “don’t take no shit from anyone” type of gal has to be referenced first and foremost for her dating and match.com escapades.

Check my Breezy out at: My Vagina Monoblogs -http://datingdiary.wordpress.com/

If you’re into this…then you will be into her vagina…errr ya know.

So since my viewpoints on dating and mental mind trickery captivated my lil nitch of friends, I will continue.

To bring you up to speed and to clearly have no shame whatsoever I am announcing that I have officially been “dating” on Match.com. How did this happen?

Wellllll...a bottle of wine may or may not have been involved. It was a rainy Sunday in December. From the looks of it, it could have been a harmless Sunday Funday at home. But no, I pulled a very serious trigger. Somewhere between ¾ of the bottle down and a few helpings of peanut butter, I purchased a dating pool. A dating pool that has served to be incredibly diverse and interesting, I will admit that I probably wouldn’t have met most of the people that I have virtually dated through “winks” “favorite-ing” and messaging by just the stars aligning.

I honestly have no problem with online dating, I’ve had a positive experience with it prior to Match, however, what I always had a problem with was the “paying” for the service. Because trust me, that annoying chick from Millionaire Matchmaker is not inviting me to her office to orchestrate a meet n greet of my potential matches. Instead we pay for dating pool on clever taglines, photos, winks, ‘about me”, “about my date”, and daily “matches” emails.

I have fallen trap to it, and I can confidently say that at least I am doing this with the best odds of hopefully meeting someone cool that has some things in common and that has better intentions that the asshole that tried grabbing my legs at the bar the other night. SO I took the plunge and purchased a 1 month membership, with a First Time User additional complimentary month. That was followed by a brief period of not logging in and letting my account go inactive, then swiftly returning and reactivating. Details forthcoming.

It has been an adventure to say the least and boy have I met some interesting boys, all of which I have learned something from.

For today I will leave you with that and next time I will introduce you to my gentlemen callers, anonymously of course. I think my Match profile actually references Positive Polly Posts, got to gain readers somehow ;)

;) Polly