Honest Abe

Honest Abe

Unlike many of my recent dating encounters, this one came along rather as they say so often in Berkeley, “Organically”. Berkeley being the setting of our chance encounter. After chatting briefly at a work-associated cocktail hour I was approached by this friendly 30 something as he placed an extra Speakeasy Prohibition Ale down on the table next me. No words, then he took a seat a few spots away. Tease. I’m in.

Was this handsome feller flirting? No profile pic to review first, no “about me” section to filter thru, no photos of him posing with his dog or on a hike at the peak. Instead, I knew right away with this sly beer drop gesture that he was right down my alley.

Organically the night moved into more libations with colleagues where emails and phones numbers were exchanged professionally with heavy date innuendo. The following few days were filled with silly phone calls and text messages as we set up our master date.

Honest Abe arrived 5 – 10 min late. Lucky for him parking is hard to come by on a sunny day on my street, so I let him slide.

I think because this was one of the few dates in the past year that was asked out on in “Real life” and not on match.com, I was particularly nervous. I must have changed outfits 3 or 4 times and even sought out male-roommate-cute-outfit advice. After settling on snug tan shorts, a tribal halter top, brown wedges and denim jacket I applied my reddest llip gloss, a few splashes of Betsy Johnson and I felt like the best datable form of myself.

Honest Abe is also Mr. Red shiny BMW, perhaps to match my lip gloss. Little did I know that aside from our kismet matching lip and lacquer colour, Honest Abe would then take me on the best AND worst first date ever.

I was greeted by a reassuring “O good I’m still attracted to you hug”. Nice. As we approached the shiny speedster, he tossed out a few suggestions for dinner, sushi, Indian, Chinese …. Or the Ben Harper concert in San Francisco. Utter shock took over my body. I’ll give you one guess as to what I chose. Be still my heart. First date – music – a GREAT band - cute/nice boy… o AND we went to a cute Mexican place that I have been dying to try with TEAL painted walls?! Delicious chili verde tacos were followed by greyhounds at a local favorite bar and then a quick trip on BART to the Warfield. I sweet talked the scalper, he bought the tics, and I bought the first round of drinks and we found our seats just as the honorable Mr. Harper took the stage. We were like an unstoppable team. He was energetic, gentlemanly, excitable, not boring, fun, silly … What could go wrong? You'll have to stay tuned for next time...this is long one...

To Be Continued.

Whiskey or Gin or Neither?

Taking life by the Handle Bars I felt inspired a few months ago. So inspired the next date I went on was with a young chap from across the pond. Gareth. Yes, Gareth. Yes, it gets better.

Gareth is from England and lives in Sacramento but works in SF most work/weekdays. I thought … what an interesting situation that would be? I love Sac and SF. Enjoy a nice boy when I go to visit the Sac family? Why not? Right?

So Gareth and I did the standard Match Messaging Shuffle then traded numbers and picked a night to meet.

I was surprised when he actually called and didn't send a text message. (Thats a big one boys).

We planned on meeting up at some random restaurant near the Financial District.

Things went great, easy convo, some banter and an affinity for the brown gold. Whiskey, Scotch, Bourbon … whatev. But we both liked it.

This led to a 2nd bar and my first Double Malt Scotch tasting.

This then led to the turn off …

He shook hands with the bartender for giving us a free round and introduced himself as "Gaz". Apparently "Gaz" is the short for Gareth to the Brits. (?) I looked puzzled when he told me and then in efforts to convince me he pulled down his lower lip to reveal a tattoo of said nickname. Yes, he had his strange nickname tattooed on the inside of his mouth.

You all know that I find nothing wrong with tattoos and support them fully. But, seriously? Seriously? I mean really? Really?

Anyways … we wrapped the night well and had a great time with Gaz … however I think the state of utter shock resinated with the both of us and we did not met up again.

A few weeks later I went met up with a nice, cornfed, boy from the midwest by way of San Diego at the Gold Dust in Union Square. (The Gold Dust has seen Jen n Friends at some of our finest moments. So I was thrilled that he choose this as our starting spot.)

Patrick drank Gin because his grandmother always did. That was a first.

As restaurant opener in the bay area he knew of a lot of places to grab a bite so we headed to Anchor and Hope. Amazing Seafood. And that was it…thats all. No more. No less. Amazing Seafood and a few Gins for him and Whiskey for me. Great guy but didn't quite "fit". Cheers and Good luck to you!

Positive Play

The positive play on these scenarios is … well … it didn't hurt. Instead I met some nice people I wouldn't have met otherwise, had a good time, learned a few things … most importantly that I will aways enjoy Whiskey with Jen…not Gin.

It Is What It Is...

Posting Breather - yes I have missed a week or two ... SORRY. But I can explain, I swear, some happenings and thoughts of my current dating life, enjoy:

1. The Curse - I feel like I have a strange curse. The really, really, “great first date” curse. I know I know - strange right? Well, for those of you that know me, you would probably concur that I am social and very conversational and am also not crazy or a total bitch. I always try/offer to pay my ½ of the bill and I ALWAYS shower before ;). I have been very lucky with most of the men that I have gone on dates with. They are at some rate at the same conversational pace as me – almost ;)

Basically overall providing for an entertaining, engaging, flirtatious and successful first dates. I feel that I can easily get swayed by this first date fog, because sooner than later you’ll realize … O we aren’t that compatible. So now I contemplate - are feeling after the first date just to be ignored, and if I have a good enough time I schedule dates 2 and 3 and then start the emotional/chemical judgements? And this leads me to reason #2 for my breather.

2. It Is What It Is - This phrase “It is what it is” – reminds me of one silly afternoon in my favorite house in Sacramento with Gina. We were “playing” and somehow she made the most ridiculous use of this phrase with hand motions-o-plenty – that it still cracks me up. Annnyways, that has nothing to do with any of this. But I bring this phrase up after my other bestie made a comment after my first posting of my dating series “Mr. Cherry”. She loves me and I do her, what she said struck me, this is her comment:

“I think we can do better with the "Positive" posts honey. How is reading about dating bombs uplifting? Maybe change the name of your blog? I don't feel a "dose of positive reinforcement" when I read about the douchebags mama, it's kinda sad.”

At first I thought what she said was brutal…it wasn’t. It was her being honest and encouraging me – which I am so grateful for in a friend. This comment made me want to take a breather and explain my purpose for basically revealing all and potentially humiliating myself (;)).

This is Dating. It Is What It Is.

Instead of being who I have been before, and bashing any man that didn’t work out, which is ultimately the definition of Negative, I would try and analyze and find the “Silver Lining” to these experiences. B/c lets be real here … This is Dating. It Is What It Is. Most out of 10, are not going to work out … and I think that ratio might be a lil forgiving as well. But instead of thinking about it in terms of – how depressing it is to think, “most men I date will not amount to anything”. YIKES! That sounds awful!

INSTEAD...

I hope that my stories are encouraging and that there is some compassion shared here between hopeful women and men that read this and who feel that they are eternally looking for that special someone.

3. The Current Sitch - The other reason for the breather … I’m a busy girl b/c I updated some photos to my match profile … HA/jokes! Stay tuned for more dating do-zies and don’t-sies. Here are a few of them by name…

The Brit, Handle Bars, Jake Ryan, “The guy I just want to drink Whiskey with”, and The Neighboy

Thanks for reading … love to have comments so leave your thoughts, advice etc.!

Mr. Cherry

As promised I will be regaling you all of my dating doozies from Match.com - here it goes.

The Cherry

I will refer to this suitor as my “Cherry”. My first Match.com date went off with a bang with Mr. Cherry – pun intended. An afternoon meet up in the Mission ended in me rushing to catch the last BART train home to the East Bay at midnight. A Sunday beer enjoying a nice patio with bashful first date conversation and questions concluded in late night cocktails and spicy Brazilian dancing. An exciting success that reminded me of how it felt once upon a time when I was young and just talking with boys made me get the butterflies.

This Cherry was of the nice, gentlemanly Midwest breed with a splash of spunk, a whole lot of mystery and topped it off with a great taste in music. I’ve learned that if I connect with someone on a music beat, it enhances the – for lack of a better word – chemistry. Our adventures were a sweet combination of “gchat” messages that relentlessly kept me blushing and an easy drinking partner. Getting emails of zipped music files from him were in essence the new age flower delivery service. Instead of a bouquet, I would get the new aromas of Arcade Fire and the Black Keys, which to me is better than roses.

And…this sweetness believe it or not carried on for about 3 months…not “long”, I know, but not bad for my first shot on this site.

In the end, after a burlesque show and one dramatic greyhound infused phone call (don’t ask), my Cherry Boy, wasn’t ready for me and instead his heart was with someone else. A bit of an ego bruiser, but nonetheless a good guy with some more than great skills and of course … a great taste in music.

Positive Play - My Positive Play is going to be where I showcase my take away and my learning from this experience/individual. No how big/small or short/long the situation is, the Positive Play section is where I will, find the silver lining.

I learned a few things from My Cherry. A new love of a few bands that I hadn’t heard of before, how to use my DropBox, Bernal Heights is beautiful, I actually do like eggs Benedict … and a few more serious notes.

To not fall victim to the trap of “playing it cool”.

There were a few instances where I sensed something was not quite right with the boy. Instead of just confronting the issue, I held back and tried to “play it cool,” not come off like the needy girl or look vulnerable or god forbid, actually come off like I Liked Him.

I learned from this to be honest with him … and more importantly be honest with myself. I did like him, I really liked the idea of him, but I knew he was somewhere else. Which is/was fine/acceptable/okay.

But the fact that I/we both tried to play it cool, prolonged the inevitable. Hence I have learned (still learning this is a hard one) that aside from the awesome music, silly chemical banter and lovely snuggles and hand holding – I have to be honest with myself and look at this person and see if they really want me. Wow I just said that. Thanks boy.

Another one bites the dust. Stay tuned next time, there are more boys where this came from.

Heart and Soul

Recently I was reminded by a friend that my blog followers put their Heart and Soul into reading this so I should refrain from the "teaser" blogs ... like the past 2.

So I'm back. Enjoy some updates of my journeys:

As promised Bay to Breakers Shenanigans ... speaking of Nick...a group of us convened at Nick and Kim's lovely new home in Oakland and prepped for what would be one of the longest (earliest) beverage consuming days ever. Its been a while since I cracked a beer at 6:30am and enjoyed the sweet (or not so sweet) taste of Bud Light.
As we boarded BART at 6:30 AM in our Shower Caps and Robes garb we were greeted by actual "racers" as they giggled, pointed and stared at our short shorts, short robes, shower caps, long socks and fanny packs, the only plausible response we had was, "Do you guys know where we can find a shower?"

From there we ventured to a rooftop party (mind you at 7:30am) there we get reved and ready for the day to come. As you can imagine the day was a bit crazy... backpacks of beer, costumes o plenty, donut holes, phallic shaped buildings, drunken cheetah, too many ninja turtles, the street o pee, hayes hill madness, Jesus, the Pope, the most amazing portapotties, butt slapping, and old and new friends.
I ran with an oldie but a good crew that day, 2 of my boys that I have been friends for years (since I was 19, yikes). It was great playing with them for the day and reliving the days when we were young and drinking all day in costumes was a common occurrence. Luff chew guys.

The Cherry Hut Chronicles
Big Ralph is at it again this year...this time with a sidekick, his son. That's right people, Ralphie is now a full time El Camino Packing employee. History must repeat itself..Santos and Son is back...
For an update on this years cherry crop, check out my link to the right. A local news team came out to the orchards and interviewed the Ralphs.

Whats Up With That??
2 things...
1. Deadliest Catch airing the death of one of the captains. Seriously? I walked into the break room today and as I'm prepping my breakfast as a news station is discussing how terrible it is that the Discovery Channel showed one of the featured captains passing and death. Not to mention with his son in the back ground watching what would probably be the worst day of his own life. The contradiction that this new station is broadcasting to 100's of thousands of people disgusts me. The story as told by the barbie/ken duo, attempted to depict concern or astonishment that the DC would show such an event. BUT the ENTIRE time barbie/ken were talking the footage from the Discover Channel was looping in the back ground over and over and over again. Not only do I wave my pointy finger at the what I thought was a decent and semi respectable source of reality TV, Discovery Channel. But I'm obviously disgusted with the news station that was looping the footage. I'm assuming at this point I don't have to share my sentiment about how private that matter is. More importantly cameras were only rolling for money and us dumb Americans that can't get enough of someone else's problems. WHATs UP WITH THAT!?
If I can encourage you to do anything...please don't youtube it, google it, bing it, hulu it etc...thats how we can show respect.
How's that for heart and soul Nickie?

What's up with that #2:
2. Pre-Date Rituals for Men:
Everyday on my commute to work I listen to Mark & Brian in the morning on 96.9FM. This morning the guys were naming off rituals men should do before a first date (see link to right for descriptions). As I was listening I heard things that I haven't seen a man do for me in years, I started to wonder about the dating pool that us twenty somethings are dealing with. Check out the list.
- Shine your shoes
- Clean your car
- Apply Fragrance an hour before you meet
- Manscape
- Iron your shirts
- Pack a date kit: gum, breath mints, money, etc
- Shave
- Clean your sheets and your bathroom
- Confirm your plans
- Work out

Now, let me digress for a moment. Some of these rituals are a lil fancy for my liking...that being said I am more of a low maintenance girl and am completely turned off by the high maintenance man that truly manscapes his face like a race track or expects to wooo me into his clean sheets b/c he shined his shoes. BUT to me I found it interesting, because it seems like the art of the "First Date" is fading fast in our generation...its more like "lets get a drink" or "I'll text you" or "meet you there" or "if you're around...". And in NO way are things necessarily bad, nor are men the only ones causing this lack of romance and chivalry. Because that's really what it is right? Romance. B/C in the grand scheme of things, romance means business. Business time. OR it means that your feelings and intentions are out there, take them or leave them. And isn't that what people seem to be hiding or rather protect? For the good or the bad of those feelings, they are pushed aside.
No I am not jaded, No I am not a man-hater, Yes, I will stay positive in this dating pool. :)
I just found it an interesting discussion topic. "I'm getting verklempt, here, I'll give you a topic...dating in 2010, discuss" I heart Mike Myers.

Alright everyone, open your minds and have a beautiful day... <3